Tag Archives: christmas cookies

Pre-Heating The Oven Is So 2008

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I was here blathering on about spritz cookies. nom nom nom Gosh, how time flies when you are a biscuit-scarfing fatass.  I figured that I should highlight another seasonal favorite here because it’s Christmas.  And it’s important to have a selection at Christmas.  It’s the American way.

112.  Fudgy No-bake Cookies

Boy oh boy did I eat these by the plateful when I was growing up.  They’re not really Christmas-themed, per se…but they always got picked for my plate at the family party.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/files/2009/09/No-bake-2.jpg

Wait! Come back! It's not what it looks like!

Yes, I know they look like excrement but, trust me, they don’t taste like it.  Wait…does that sound like I would KNOW what poo tastes like?  Because that’s not what I mean.  I’m just saying these taste much better than they look.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t dig up much about the history of this cookie.  To be fair, they seem more like a happy accident than anything that was planned.  So, I’ll just have to take up some space talking about why I think they are so deserving of being on my great-list.

Beyond the awesomely rich and satisfying chocolate taste of the fudgy no-bake, there are a few of reasons why I’m so partial to them.

Firstly, these cookies ALMOST seem like they should be healthy for you (even if they’re not really) because one of the primary components is wholesome oatmeal.  So, even if you’re ingesting a little chocolate lard bomb, at least it will help to keep you regular too.  Plus, the oats provide a wonderful little bit of chewiness to the texture.

Secondly, they  have the added bonus of not posing any risk of bodily harm (except maybe obesity) as I don’t even have to turn on a stove.  Though there is a minimum amount of boiling necessary, I don’t at any point have to reach my arms into the oven.  It is a little-known fact that I’m not only LAZY in the kitchen but I’m also terrified of burning myself.  So, that’s sloth AND cowardice.  Now you know.

Thirdly, they feature one of the best flavor combinations of all time:  chocolate and peanut butter.  Testify!

If you’ve never heard of/had these delightful treats, I highly recommend whipping up a batch.

Here’s the highest rated fudgy no-bake recipe from allrecipes.com: cookie eaters, click here

If that’s not easy enough for you to follow, enjoy this how-to video.  The video is almost entertaining solely by itself even without the happy output of cookies at the end just because of the slightly macabre music and the narration at the begining…”Chacalate peanut budder no bake COOkies”   I’m going to say it exactly like that from now on.

Here’s yet another version of the fudgy nobake…this one has the addition of raspberry jam.  Even though it’s a ‘healthier’ version, I’d still give it a whirl as the fruitiness here might make it an exciting alternative.  the one with raspberry jam..

I haven’t made any Christmas cookies this year.  (Where has the time gone?)  But, I think this holiday champion might just save the day. I might make a batch to take with me on Christmas Day.  It’ll be my contribution to the soiree.  It’s so easy it’ll be sort of like bringing jello but these British folks need not know that I haven’t slaved away on them.  Hey, there’s that sloth again!

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If you only eat one Christmas cookie this holiday season…

At Christmas, in Britain, when it’s time to indulge your sweet tooth, you’re bound to get offered up something a bit off-putting–something with orange peel and brandy butter–something that we Americans would view as being of ‘an acquired taste’–something that has loads of dates and figs in it…something like mince pies or the ultra bitter Christmas pudding.

I’ve been over there long enough now that I actually have developed my taste buds a bit and I’m in a comfortable place where I can enjoy the occasional mince pie.  The Christmas pud though, still takes like cognac soaked vomitous fruit cake…which is kinda what it is. 

Merry Christmas, Blarrrrrrggggghhh!

Mercifully, here in the U.S.A., where I am cozily returned for the holiday break, it’s all about the refined sugar.  There’s always a bounty to choose from when you’re ready to pork out on sweets:  pies, brownies, puddings, and a dazzling plethora of cookies.  Cookies–it’s what Santa eats and it’s good enough for me.  They are truly the holiday favorite for most American families.  You made ’em with your Grandma when you were little, you probably make a batch for your colleagues at work this week, and  they’re a dessert that allows you to go apeshit with sprinkles.  As far as varieties of cookies go, when I’m ready to pack on an extra five pounds it’s with a fist-full of today’s favorite thing.

63.  Spritz Cookies
You’ve probably consumed spritz cookies before even if you didn’t know that’s what they were called.  Don’t confuse them with sugar cookies or cut-outs.  They are dense, buttery, crunchy little biscuits.

A teeny bit of history:  Though we know they are ttypically served exclusively at Christmas, this cookie’s origins are a bit cloudy.  They are debate-ably either Scandinavian (they are sometimes know as Swedish spritz cookies) or potentially German (because the etymology of the word ‘spritzen’ is German–meaning to squirt or spray–which is how you make the cookies, by squirting them through a cookie press).  The www.hungrybrowser.com website amicably suggests that Germans may have brought the crunchy biscuits over to Scandinavia.  See.  German history isn’t ALL bad.  They shared their cookies.  Like many Christmas treats (cut-outs, candy canes, and gingerbread men for instance) spritz cookies were probably designed as edible ornaments.  So, before you eat it, why not dangle it from your tree or pin it to your favorite holiday sweater?  Or screw that and just scarf them.

Making spritz cookies is a bit tricky because the consistency of the dough can easily get  too malleable to keep its shape (you’ve got to use room temp–not melty butter) but it’s always fun because you get to use a gun.

A typical spritz gun is shown in the photograph above.  Bang bang!

My Mom had a model more like this one pictured below.  It’s more like a spritz-musket…kaboom!

 

 

 Spritz cookies can come in all shapes.  My Mom’s kit had  patterns that produced little wreaths, trees, pinwheels, dogs, and camels, amongst other decorative designs. 

They are made in all sorts of varieties.  We ate the almond flavoured ones and the chocolate spritzes.  Howver, I’ve seen recipes for butter, lemon, raspberry, coconut, sour cream, and pina colada (zoinks).

The chocolate spritzes are my absolute favorite.  My Mom used the dog and camel patterns for these.  Deee-licious!  But, word to the wise, if you’re not careful, they’ll come out looking like little doo doo piles, so easy on that spritz gun trigger, my cookie cowboys.

a poo log…I mean yule log of Christmas joy

Anyway, I hope you like these cookies as much as I do.  Here’s a couple of pages where you can find the recipes:  chocolate spritz  multiple recipes     for my vegan friends

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