I’d heard lots of great things about Nurse Jackie and had read all about Edie Falco’s superb and award-winning portrayal of the titular character + the clips that they would show on awards shows were always tantalizing.  But I really didn’t know much about the show beyond some basic plot points.  I had no idea, for instance, that its format was thirty minutes.  I thought it would be an hour-long drama–like The Sopranos.  But, it’s more like Sex and the City (before the last SATC movie made a whore of that groundbreaking show’s legacy).  It’s a thought-provoking dramedy with a wonderful supporting cast and alternating gasps and gags.  It was difficult to choose which aspect of the program to hone in on.  Seriously, all of the actors are adorable/sexy/completely awesome in their own way.  But–even though it’d be easy to write about grouchy Falco and her dykey Nurse Jackie hairdo, or the lovable glass-eyed lug Thor, or the super hot and well-heeled Brit Dr. O’ Hara–I’m going with the dark horse.

You are all contenders.

165.  Anna Deveare Smith as Gloria Akalitus

Anna Deveare Smith is a darling of the theatrical community.  I first heard her name when I was attending NYU–where I was decidedly NOT a darling of the theatre community.  All the people who actually knew about theater (I knew nothing) were raving about her one woman show.  Twilight: Los Angeles.  She played a billion characters in this one woman show which was pieced together with interviews after the LA riots.  She won a Drama Desk Award for it.

A native of Baltimore, the woman who plays Akalitus has other accolades as well.  She is currently the artist in residence for The Center for American Progress and she also won a MacArthur Fellowship in 1996.  So, you know…that’s pretty good.

Another awards ceremony? Wait, let me just put on my finest hats. Ok, ready.

She was also, reportedly, awesome in The West Wing, a program I have not yet viewed.

Yes, I AM good on that program. You should watch it.

When her character first appeared, I thought–right–this is the villain of the show.  She’s a straight up beurocratic pain in the ass.  She’s the hospital administrator–the baddie, we’re all going to love to hate.  In comparison to the heroic medical staff, who go above and beyond the rules, she’s just there to stop people from saving lives!!!….what with her clip board and crunched data and no fun skirt-suits.  But, I’m glad that by midway through the first season they sort of went a different direction.  I’m not saying she’s never the obstacle for the medical staff, but she’s much more human, hilarious, and fun to watch.  She feels more like someone who wants to be a constant ally but who has to deal with the real world whilst the others are away with the fairies.  Deveare Smith makes so much more out of a character that could have just been a stereotype and a constant foil to the heroic doctors and nurses.  Here she is talking a bit about the character.

So, award winning, theatrically trained, intelligent actress makes interesting acting choices on an acclaimed cable television series.  Slow news day, yes?  But that’s not really the whole story.  I think the main reason that I love Deveare Smith’s performance so much is because of the faces that she pulls.  I know it’s childish, but check it out and tell me it’s also not just completely adorable and sort of transfixing.  When she’s on screen I am just WAITING for that bit of gurning.  Half the time she looks like she’s straight out of the animation from Fantasia 2000′s  segment for Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue”.  The entire piece is here.  (Highly recommended viewing)

Or, if you can’t be bothered with a thirteen minute cartoon, here is a still.

Now, here is Deveare Smith’s face.

Am I right?  Who’s with me?

149.  “Happy Inside” Ikea Advert

It’s a fantastic spot.  Enjoy:

Even if you’re not a cat-person, per se, I think the ad does a great job of conveying the comfort of home. Happy cats just have those contented expressions that are so easy to relate to.  In fact, in easy to see most human emotions in cats.  You can always when they’re either comfortable, peeved, antsy, or high on the nip.  Cue the success of LOLcats and much Internet adoration.

Happy!

Pissed off!

Totally high!

The music choice is also solid.  It’s Mara Carlyle’s “Pianni”.  By the way, in addition to playing the piano, Carlyle also plays the saw.  So, that’s cool.

Here’s a bit of behind the scenes footage. from the commercial shoot:

Ikea has some particularly memorable ads.  I remember an especially nerve-striking commercial from a few years ago.  Spike Jonze directed this little spot.

That commercial really gets me…thanks to Toy Story.  That movie agitates my pre-existing tendency to anthropomorphize inanimate objects.  You know what I mean…I feel bad if a stuffed animal falls off the bed.  I have to give it a little pat to make it feel better.  I’m thankful to Spike Jonze for pointing out what a twit I am.

YouTube actually has a whole treasure trove of fantastic but banned Ikea ads.  Mostly, it’s their spots that are a bit racier that people get tied in to knots about.  We can’t have nice things.

Now, I’m off to Ikea to buy some byurgs and flirgens, and a billion tea lights.  See you in October!

138.  Judith Light

Like Helen Mirren, she seems to be getting better with age anyway.  Think I’m just making an easy excuse for my lack of sophistication in my youth?  Well think again!  The evidence speaks for itself:

From her soap years...or a maxi-pad commercial...I'm not sure which.

I can smell the hairspray from here.

Modern times.

She’s a fancy lady!  I wish she was my…like…my sexy older comedy benefactor or patroness.  Or something.  Besides being a foxy lady, Judith Light is also a huge supporter of gay rights.  I love a straight ally, I do.  But, what I like most about Judith Light lately, is that even though she gets cast in these high-powered and steely career women roles, she doesn’t seem to take herself too seriously.  On Family Guy, she lent her vocals to an animated version of herself in one of their little cutaway sight gags wherein she has a Tony Danza dummy that she makes out with.  She is disappointed when a cannister of plain old oxygen arrives when she was supposed to get a delivery of Tony Danza breath to hook up to it.

And, even though, she was reportedly top-notch in Broadway’s cancer-drama Wit, she was also pretty damn funny as Claire Meade in Ugly Betty.

She'd make a great Prof. X.

The following video, to be accurate, does not present a terrific interview.  Tony Danza is no Letterman or DeGeneres…he’s not even Leno..But, it does have a few highlights:

1.  Danza, before showing the ‘Tony and Ange-LER!’ kiss, calls it a ‘TV first’.  I’m dying to know what he means by that.  A ‘first’ what?  Intrigue!

2.  A surprise soap opera clip.

3. An exchange of Tiffany’s gifts.

4.  Tony, surprisingly and astutely, observes that it’s hard to make a two-hour movie out of a half hour program.  Ahem, Sex and the City.

Enjoy…or not.

Of course, one of the reasons that I’m currently fascinated by Judith Light is that I’m bingeing on Law and Order:  SVU episodes and she plays the complicated but highly appealing Judge Donnelly.

Sustained!!!

Wouldn’t you love to go for drinks with Judge Donnelly and Dianne Wiest’s District Attorney Nora Lewin?  Plus, you might run into Stabler and Benson.  Then you could grab dinner with Alexandra Cabot!  What fun!  I wish there were a Law and Order action figure set.  I’d so make room for that on my kitchen table.  It’d go right next to my Springfield Elementary playset and my Xena dolls.  (OK…I’m only partially exaggerating about how sad I am…I don’t have those items on my table.  They’re in a box in the closet.  But still, I’d so play with Law and Order dolls whilst I eat my Honey Nut Cheerios at the breakfast table.)

To close out today’s blog entry,  here are some bloopers.  It’s actually a compilation of Who’s The Boss bloopers, but the first ones they show are Judith Light’s.  Yes, I actually typed “Judith Light bloopers” into YouTube to find this.  A bit pathetic as far as entertainment searches go, but I only sink so low so that I can present you, dear reader, with a fuller picture of the greatness that is Judith Light.  Most of these are pretty standard “I forget my line…hahahahah” type mishaps, but I think you can still see the spark from JLi.  That’s what I’m going to call her now.  JLi.

One time (I know…’at band camp’), when I was waiting tables at Cafeteria in NYC’s Chelsea neighborhood, Wallace Shawn came in by himself to have some lunch.  Of course I recognized him from a bajillion things, including but not limited to:  The Princess Bride, Clueless, and Uncle Vanya.  But, when I went up to him to refill his coffee, it was for his appearance  as Professor Silverfish in How to Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days (a WonderWorks production) that I complimented him.  He seemed absolutely tickled by that.  He must get so tired of having people approach him just to shout “Inconceivable!” in his face, that he was pleasantly surprised when I didn’t.  He was very smiley, left a great tip and made sure to say goodbye before he left.  What a nice guy.

Thanks for not mentioning 'the shrieking eels!'

By the way,  I waited on quite a few celebs there.  It was a hugely trendy 24-hour faux diner chic hotspot in a neighborhood with lots of expensive shops and nightclubs,  but the other person I served who was enthusiastically grateful to be recognized was Paul Dinello from Exit 57 and Strangers With Candy.  I don’t mean that to sound like he was desperate.  But, Exit 57 was hugely underappreciated and I think it made him happy for me to go on a bit about how great it was.  And it’s not like I was just buttering him up just to hobnob with famous comedy folk .  Exit 57 was pretty ace.  Again, he was super nice and gave a proper tip.

Thanks for your comedy patronage!

Anyway, back on topic.  WonderWorks was an excellent, excellent family tradition.  I loved ‘em all.  But, today’s great thing is the WonderWorks production that I have the greatest recollection of:

137.  Anne of Green Gables

That’s Anne with an ‘e’, if you’re nasty.

Anne of Green Gables and its equally great follow-up Anne of Avonlea, are, seemingly, universally beloved.   Google the titles and you’re drowning in links.  Much like 80′s cartoons, there is a huge fan-base out there…hungry to talk about their love affair with this program of yesteryear and geek it up a bit.  My sister and I loved this one so much that we purchased them on VHS!  If you’re one of the unfortunate few that never saw it growing up, this homemade trailer sums it up pretty well.

That actually made me well up a bit!

At this point, I have to say My sister always held slightly more ownership of the Anne franchise.  Make no mistake…I loved it.  But, as siblings, you need to give each other some breathing room in areas of hobby and fandom.  You don’t want to crowd each other out whilst you’re seeking your individuality and personality.  I was comic books, karate, Cyndi Lauper, and comedy.  She was fine art, Russian culture, Howard Jones, and Anne of Green Gables.  We could appreciate each other’s interests but we’d never cross the line and try to claim them as our own or edge each other out if one of us claimed it before the other.  I think she loved its literate roots, gentile setting, and most of all–how Colleen Dewhurst as stern but fair matriarch Marilla reminded us of our super-loveable Grandmother.  Her name was Mary….Mary—Marilla…not too far of a stretch.  Like Marilla, she too was rarely seen without an apron.

I like your sleeves...they're real big.

Kathryn Hepburn had been considered for the role but couldn’t take it due to other commitments.  (Side note…her great-niece plays Diana Barry).  But, as terrific as I’m sure Hepburn would have been, Colleen Dewhurst was born to play the part of Marilla Cuthbert.  An amazing actress, Dewhurst died far too young, thanks in part to her Christian Scientist beliefs (she refused treatment for cervical cancer).

Anyway, the reasons that Steph, my sister, loved Anne of Green Gables aren’t entirely different from my own.  But, I bet I did get one lasting impression out of the production that never occurred to her.  That would be the strikingly close ‘friendship’ between Diana Barry and the titular heroine Anne Shirley Cuthbert.  They were ‘bosom friends’, you see.  They had the sort of intimate friendship that you only ever see between two girls in either:

A. period pieces

B.  films with a lesbian subject matter

C.  period pieces with lesbian subject matter

Of course, it’s probably only lesbians that ever infer sexuality onto the relationship between Anne and Diana.  But, give us a break.  When I was ten years old there was pretty much zero representation.  I needed to foist that dimension onto them.  And it’s hardly like I was alone in this self-satisfying conclusion.  Witness this excellent recut masterpiece and tell me that you can’t see what I saw:

How awesome is that?  Thank God for YouTube and free time!

Anyway, it’s that video that really reminded me of the delightful memory that is the Anne of Green Gables series.  I think I’ll go hunting on Amazon.  It’ll be erroneously filed in the ‘family’ section instead of the ‘gay/lesbian’ section, but wha-hey.  You can’t win them all.

Now, what of the delightful Megan Follows who played Anne Shirley to slate-cracking perfection?  Well, she still acts.  Every once in a while she’ll crop up in movies or on the teevee.  But, mostly she does theater.   I was lucky enough to catch her at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival when I was in highschool.  What a day that was!  My first real exposure to the works of Shakespeare, it was a beautiful day in Canada, and I was lucky enough to see a minor-celeb in the production.  I actually paid attention to the whole thing!  By the way, sorry if this post reads as a page long diary of ‘famous people that I saw once’.

In 2010 she was in a production of Caryl Churchill’s Cloud 9.–one of my favorite plays ever!  Check out the company-made trailer below… I know it looks bizarre but when the play is done well, it is an inspiring statement on gender politics throughout the ages and it is absolutely hilarious (if you believe those two aspects can co-exist.)

In this way, I feel like I’m not being a very good fan.  I can’t be a completeist with all of her appearances.  Her very omnipresence makes it too difficult.

I am everywhere, man.

However, I still relish the occasional clip from her show now and then.  Ellen is just as easy to love in small, snackable bits.  It always feels like I’m falling in love with her comedy again for the first time.  That’s why today’s great thing is:

127.  Ellen Demonstrating The Hawaii Chair

The Hawaii chair  is one of those television offer-type products.  It can cost well over three hundred bucks and it looks like a fairly uncomfortable office chair.   One website that is shilling a version of the product describes it as a:  “MULTI SPEED ELECTRICALLY DRIVEN MASSAGE CHAIR, 3 SIZES AVAILABLE
PUT YOURSELF IN SYNC WITH NATURE’S CYCLICAL RHYTHMS”!  Yes…Earth’s natural, vomit-inducing rhythms…  The benefits of sitting in such a chair and allowing yourself to be jerked around in it are supposed to be in the building your core abdominal strength…you know, like Pilates for people without gym memberships.

Sit and spin, buddy!

MSNBC reviews the chair here:  Product Tested Though this is a serious product review about The Hawaii Chair’s perceived health benefits (or lack thereof), the video clip that is embedded is still side-splittingly funny.  There’s just no way to sit on this chair, while it’s in ‘on’ mode, and maintain your dignity, it seems.

Still, nobody can point out the inanity of this product better than Ellen can in her silly, fun-loving way.  Watch her and adore:

The chair has made a few subsequent appearances.  (I think we can all agree that it has the necessary appeal to become a recurring prop).

Here Ellen invites some lucky audience members to enjoy the ‘workout’ during the show.  Look how excited the guests are as they run down.  I know it’s because they’re suddenly on teevee, but let’s just pretend that it’s all for the opportunity to use the Hawaii Chair:

Lastly, here is Ellen surprising Rob Lowe with a Hawaii Chair:

It seems that no matter who is inhabiting the Hawaii Chair, all chair-sitters just wind up with their legs to the side, being relentlessly pushed and bullied up against those rather uncomfortable looking blocky arms.  NASA should use these to teach about motion sickness.

The Hawaii Chair is also sometimes  known as the Hula Chair…or is that a competing brand?  Honestly, I couldn’t even be bothered to check that info out…what with my midsection being all static here in my regular chair.  I feel sluggish and not muscular (torsally speaking).

For extra bonus fun, here’s a parody ad for The Snuggie.  Jack Douglass (who is responsible for this) has a few doozies on his YouTube page:

Oh, one last thing.  About American Idol–make no mistake, Crystal Bowersox should win.  I don’t watch, but I still have an opinion.

I bet anybody who has read at least two entries on this blog would wager that today’s entry is being pecked out in celebration of the hotness that is Mariska Hargitay.  Well, you’re only half right.  I’m heartily looking forward to the day that I sit down and Google-image the heck out of sensitive yet capable Detective Benson.  But, my love for SVU goes far beyond just perving over Olivia.  I pretty much love the whole ensemble.  I love Easter Island-headed Christopher Meloni as Detective Stabler and the always earnest Captain Cragen as played by Dann Florek.  I love Tamara Tunie as M.E. Melinda Warner and I love Stephanie March’s Alexandra Cabot (though I miss Diane Neal’s Casey Novak), and yes, I even love you Ice-T!

Drink!

Actually, my friend Kimie has come up with an ingenious drinking game for SVU involving Ice-T.  Every time someone says something that could be construed as racist and the camera pans to Detective Tutuola–who in turn throws up a squinty-eyed scowl–you take a drink.  You’ll be tanked by the time the focus shifts from the arrest to the court case.

But today’s prize goes to perhaps the most underappreciated of the squad:

125.  Richard Belzer as Det. John Munch

Belzer is awesome for a number of reasons.  His lefty conspiracy-theory enthusiast character–Detective John Munch– is, from what I can tell, just pretty much Richard Belzer playing himself.  His scenes on the program highlight a snarky but wise cop with great instincts.  His character is definitely the longest-running of those on SVU (if only because Detective Munch was actually born on an earlier show–Homicide:  Life on the Street).  Yet, Detective Munch hasn’t lost his ability to care about the victims or other squad members.  He’s just a guy you would want to know if you lived in that world.  And if you wanted to talk about the Illuminati with someone.

Here is more evidence that I have unearthed pointing to his awesomeness.

1.  He is the cousin of The Fonz (Henry Winkler).

2.  He resides in France part time  (I guess when he’s not shooting).  He clearly has good taste in cheese.

3.  He was a warm-up comic for SNL in the seventies.  In fact let’s look at some of his early stand-up, shall we?

I especially like that he’s sporting the same haircut Tom Cruise rocked in MI: 2. I think it looks better on Belzer, actually.

4.  De Niro is said to have studied him for King of Comedy.  I have never seen The King of Comedy.  (I know…for shame.)  But, that’s a pretty cool credit right there.  If I were ever the muse for a movie, that movie would be called The Queen of  Snacking and Procrastinating.

5.  He supports North Shore Animal League.  This is a pic of his one of his dogs.  Animal lovers are good people.  He even blogged against dog-fighting for Huffpost.  Link

Bebe--she's French.

6.  He’s a cancer survivor.

7.  As I mentioned earlier, Belzer has played Detective John Munch on nine different shows (on different networks even).  Munch has been on some of the coolest shows ever, including X-Files, Arrested Development, and The Wire.

8.  Belzer has featured on Sesame Street three times!  In season 38, he presented the word of the day–which was ‘lazy’.

His Muppet stuntman--no, seriously...

Here’s a little bit of SVU as interpreted by Sesame Street.  The Belzer Muppet is dead-on.

9.  Silver fox can rock a scarf!

Steal this look.

I only wish that we got TNT over here in the UK so that I could watch eight hours of Law & Order a day like my American friends get to.  Oh, USA, your streets truly are paved with gold.

124.  Oscar Night’s Parody of Paranormal Activity

I’m not going to pretend that I’ve actually seen the film on which this parody is based.  But, Paranormal Activity was a pretty talked-about pop culture nugget towards the end of last year and I think I got the gist.  Spooky house…married couple can’t figure out what’s disturbing them or what’s happening whilst they sleep…video cam is set up…crazy crap is captured on film…moments of terror ensue.  Got it.  I adore Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin anyway.  Here they are, as captured in two of my favorite films.

The Jerk

Beetlejuice

So, I was pretty excited when it was announced that they would be sharing the Oscar hosting responsibilities this year.  I mean, I even want to see It’s Complicated based on the promise of their combined magic.  I love these guys.  Whilst, I wouldn’t call this year’s ceremony a total knock-out (yes even this dynamic duo had a few mis-fires), I thought it was pretty fun.  Without further adieu, here is the best bit of the night:

As someone who suffers occasionally from night terrors, I can relate.  Nothing like getting up and staring in a paranoid fashion at the wall.  Sometimes it takes me ten minutes to figure out that the evil red light is just the alarm clock.  I also reportedly hog the covers and flail endlessly in my sleep (this is according to my gf…though I’m tempted to get some vid cam proof of this myself).  This is all highly familiar territory.

The slap, of course sends me into hysterics.  Watch it again and look at Baldwin’s hand shoot up in the air after the attack.  Perfect.

The Oscar website has an extended version, but I actually think they chose the right one to air.  Link to extended version The extra bits actually make it LESS funny because it presents Steve Martin as being more conscious through it all whereas I think this little satire works because they’re both supposed to be unaware of what they’re doing.  What say you?

school bus soundtrack...in my Walkman every day...

–the running gags (one of my favorite’s being Murphy’s ever-changing lineup of weirdo secretaries), the topical scripts –but perhaps its greatest element of worth was today’s great thing.

116. The cast of Murphy Brown

Along with the cast of 30 Rock and Arrested Development, MB has one of the top ten sitcom ensembles ever assembled.  They were an unstoppable, fantastic, script-devouring team.

Much credit needs to go to Diane English, creator of the series.  First of all, she deserves accolades just for coming from Buffalo, NY.  Great Lakes girls unite!  She made it to adulthood, surviving snow-drifted winters and artery-busting local cuisine.  But, and of more pertinence to this blog entry, she fought hard to keep her vision intact.  The network, CBS, wanted Heather Locklear for the lead and didn’t like many of the other actors that we now know and love (or at least fondly and foggily remember).

The regulars were:

Murphy Brown (Teevee journalist extraordinaire)–Candice Bergen

Jim Dial (Lead anchorman)–Charles Kimbrough

Frank Fontana (Man-clown investigative reporter)–Joe Regalbutu

Corky Sherwood (Bubble-headed correspondent)–Faith Ford

Miles Silverberg (Nebbishy producer of FYI)–Grant Shaud (who in the Murphy Brown era had a name that was too samey samey to Grant Shaw from Melrose Place for his own good.)

Eldin Bernecky (Murphy’s full-time house painter)–Robert Pastorelli (who, died of a heroin overdose in 2004–sorry to harsh this love-in.)

Phil (of Phil’s bar)–Pat Corley (who died in 2006–again, sorry for the downer.)

Go team! Well...mostly Candice Bergen here...but still...Gooooo Team!

Every good ensemble needs a good captain and you couldn’t beat Candice Bergen.  She was hot, smart, and able to pass the punchline to another player if need be.  I loved her.  No, really, let me make this clear–here’s how much I loved Candice Bergen as Murphy Brown:  I loved Candice Bergen so much in this role that I’d spend a good half an hour with a curling iron and a can of hairspray trying to get my hair like hers.  Me!  With hairspray!!!  And a curling iron!!!  In grade school!

Also, I’d read any magazine that featured articles either Candice Bergen or the show in general.  I even read Good Housekeeping.  Good Housekeeping, people!  Could obsession sink any lower?

Here’s a clip from the show.  It’s nothing special–no better or worse than any other episode, really–but it is indicative of  cohesive the cast was and general overall quality.  Plus, you gain greater insight into how Murphy got her hair to do that thing.

Funnily, this is one of the only episodes to open with an actual ‘theme’ song.  Normally, they’d select an episode-appropriate Motown theme.  Superb!  Viewing some of these clips back on Youtube also makes me yearn for a proper newsmagazine show to watch.  FYI, the fictional news programme takes me back to the heyday of Nightline and 20/20.  I remember how in highschool they used to show us segments from 60 Minutes sometimes.  Watching 60 Minutes made me feel conscientious and more intelligent than I was.  I get no nourishment from the news anymore.  There’s no investigation leading to cold hard truth anymore…just manipulation meant to strengthen supposition.  Sigh…  Can anyone recommend something trustworthy AND watchable?

Watching the episodes back, you can certainly see the difference between today’s modern sitcom format and the one we used to laugh at in our youth.   Today’s laugh-trackless and highly improvised shoots give a greater sense of realism.  But, under our old standards, this was a ruthless comedy machine.  Even my more learned awareness of farce and story structure can’t fault these classic pickings.  Sure, I can see the format unfolding before my eyes.  And yes, sometimes, I can predict the second act entirely.  But, I love this bunch so much that it still works.

In addition to the regular cast members, the show treated the casting of guest stars with great diligence.  I mean can you beat Colleen Dewhurst and Darren McGavin as Murphy’s Mom and Dad.  The answer is ‘no’.  No you cannot.

Gave Murphy a Red Ryder BB Gun

Thinks Murphy is full of "stuff and nonsense".

Another boon to the cast’s solidity was the simple fact that the writers made the characters grow into more than just the stereotypes that they represented in the pilot.  Sure, Murphy was a feminist ball-breaker, Frank a good-guy womanizer, Jim a friendly blow-hard, Miles a worrywart, and Corky a ditzy blonde–but they evolved into more than that.  The writers let the relationships change over time–as they would in real life–and it made the show better for it.

Of course, I’m not the only one that obsessed.  Twenty years later, here’s an enjoyable little piece that CBS ran about Murphy Brown‘ s “china” anniversary.  Enjoy this cast reunion and ensemble love-in:

Maybe one day, when I give up on my ambitions to do anything besides watch television, I’ll buy the box-set.

114.  Rachel Dratch in 30 Rock

In season one, Dratch’s cast of oddball characters included this prostitute:

Look at that cleavage!

——————————————————————————————

Liz Taylor (in the shadows):

White Diamonds!!!

———————————————————————————————-

And this imaginary blue dude:

The missing teletubby?

Now, if you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that she hasn’t played one of these quirky little characters since that inaugural season.  I can’t say why that is except for maybe a subtle shift in tone in the series.  Was it too zany to have one person playing a raft of weirdos on a consistent basis?  Or, perhaps the parade of glitzy guest stars have crowded out what may have originally been ripe pickings for Dratch?  At any rate, I’m not the only person who has noticed her absence.  Here’s the original post of a rather amusing blog:  dearracheldratch

They miss her too, which makes me feel less alone.

It’s not to late to re-insert her as a fixture on to 30 Rock.  As most fans of the show are aware of the behind the scenes casting changes anyway (basically, Dratch was supposed to be a lead character on the program–only to have the execs re-tool the show at the eleventh-hour–relegating Dratch to these amusing bit parts), you could even write a hilariously self-referential joke to get her back on the job!  Come on, I miss the lesbian cat wrangler she played.  Or, what about the debut of any of these characters, which I’ve thought up just now?

–Teen runaway

–Drunk nun

–Carrie Prejean’s smart sister

–Fight-scene choreographer

Now, as I’m writing this blog in Britain and some of my most loyal readers are, in fact, British (Hi Matt T of itsayshere ), I feel that I must make an effort to communicate to my non-American amigos how and why Rachel Dratch is so funny.  Even if you’ve never seen Saturday Night Live you are undoubtedly aware that it is a fertile breeding ground for many of our most successful comedy actors, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Will Ferrell, Dan Akyroyd, and Mike Meyers (so he’s Canadian…big deal) to name but a few.  What you’d begin to see, if you looked into it, is that until recently, very few women were springboarded into mega-stardom after their SNL careers ended.  I can think of exactly one woman, who–pre 2006–stayed busy after departing the show:  Julia Louis Dreyfuss.  It was only when Tina Fey became head writer on the show, that people really started to fully appreciate the ladies of the program.  In fact, the early 2000′s were arguably a real golden era for the show.  Not only did you have the adorable ‘corpsing’ of Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz, the weirdness of Tracy Morgan sketches, but you had the best team of women to EVER be on the show:  Anna Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, and Rachel Dratch.  I’m not slagging off Jane Curtain here, she’s ace,  I’m just saying this was the best moment in history for women as a WHOLE on the program.

Here’s a rare thing, a woman getting more than one recurring character to play.  Dratch was given (and gave us) some serious gifts.  She was Debbie Downer, Virginia Klarvin, The Boston Teen, and the Deformed Siamese Twin, amongst other regular celebrity impressions.  Here’s that Siamese twin sketch.  What sucks is that I can only find it on Hulu.  This means that if you’re out of The States, you can’t view this, except by proxy (maybe).  Hulu is supposed to be finalizing international viewing rights.  (Hurry up!)

Another favorite moment was the Abe Scheinwald sketch (wherein Dratch played an absolutely bonkers head of a movie production company).  Though this character became a recurring one, the first appearance, I believe was in the 2003 Alec Baldwin-hosted episode.   (Missy Elliott was the musical guest…what a show!)  I highly recommend a viewing if you can catch it ever.  Sadly, it exists absolutely nowhere online that I can find.  Maybe we’ll have to wait until they release a best of Rachel Dratch DVD?

Glorious

Finally, here’s something everyone can view.  It’s Dratch playing Barbara Walters on 30 Rock.  She’s perfect.  Embedding forbidden but if you click it, it should take you there anyway.

Dratch is nothing but completely able in any comedy role that she’s given.

Anyway, my point is, and perhaps the reason why she’s so underappreciated nowadays, is that beyond 30 Rock and SNL, there aren’t many opportunities for women to play weird, eccentric, or just plain funny characters.  Sure, there’s plenty of quirky out there (think anything from Will and Grace to every role that Jenna Elfman ever plays), but there’s not much else out there.  And if there is, Amy Sedaris has already owned it.

What’s horrible but hardly surprising is that when researching what’s upcoming for Rachel, I’ve run into so many message boards that can only talk about how pretty she is or isn’t.  I’m not even going to comment on this beyond these statements:  If she were a dude, this wouldn’t be an issue (hello 95% of highly paid male comic actors).  In fact, I’m gonna go out there and say that it’s ALMOST a pre-requisite that male comic actors not be overly attractive as they need to be identifiably goofy everymen.  Also, funny shouldn’t HAVE to be pretty.  It’s one of the only ways that we average looking people have to get a leg up in this world.

I’ve been a fan of Rachel’s ever since I saw her two-woman sketch comedy show at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade theatre in NYC.  This was right around the time that Tina Fey got her writing gig on SNL.  I’d heard that she (Fey) was putting up a show with a long-time comedy partner (Dratch), and I thought “gee, I’m interested in comedy and in ladies, I should check this out”.  And I did.  It was one of the top sketch shows I’ve seen if not THE BEST.  I actually saw it twice.  The second time around, my friend Kim actually got to touch Tina Fey’s boobs.  (It was part of a bit of audience interaction during a sketch…not some awesome seduction on Kim’s part).  I had the postcard from that show, “Dratch and Fey” on my ‘inspiration wall’ for ages–right up there with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pic (I have weird goals).

I’ve dug up a couple of excellent little videos that highlight not only Dratch and Fey’s Second City years but also their sketch show (which was born out of improv).  There ain’t much that beats quality improv when it comes to audience euphoria–maybe the rare occasion of when a film successfully adapts a comic book but without some kind of graph to accurately capture my feelings, I can’t be sure.

The interviewer is slightly annoying in this clip, but it’s still chocka with cool backstage treats:

This one has stuff that looks even older:

I hope this miniature campaign to get Dratch back on 30 Rock works.  Or, at the very least, I hope I see her popping up in more television and film.  Did you know she plays the cello?  Not only is that super-sexy, but you could totally write a character around that skill.  You know, something like:  Person on the subway who takes up too much room with her cello.

OK, I’ll leave it to the professionals.

99. Michaela Watkins

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not unmoved by Casey Wilson’s termination.  I think she kind of had an unfair shake on that show.  It’s like they didn’t know quite what to do with her ever and she was rarely offered a time to shine.  One sketch that she did stand out in, for me at least, was the one where Zac Efron is a soldier on a train going off to war.  Casey plays the doggedly determined girlfriend that he is leaving behind.  She was great in it and it’s one of the only occasions that I can recall where she was a lead in a sketch instead of just part of a pleasantly curvy backdrop.  Casey, wherever you are going, I hope you are received well!

But, as bad as I feel for Casey (reportedly a very nice person), I’m outright angry about Michaela Watkins.  I suppose it’s because it’s so unexpected and soooooo very underserved.  She’d been so prominent in her short time on the show.

Watkins as Ariana Huffington

She was a wonderful impressionist–playing repeat performances of Ariana Huffington, Ann Coulter, Hoda Kotbe, and Barbara Walters.  The View sketches and Kotbe/Gifford sketches were especially popular.

The thing about Michaela that I really liked was that she knew how to play a scene.  Much like Kristen Wiig, she could find comedy in even the small bits but much like Jane Curtain, she could also expertly play a straight woman.  She’s a woman who has slogged away for many years in pursuit of comic performance.  She studied acting at Boston University, had a stint with the highly respected LA based improv troupe, The Groundlings, and even did her time in regional theatre including stage productions in Portland, OR.  Her dismissal from the show makes this interview from when she was first hired that much more depressing:

The Apiary

So, yes, I’m looking at this firing as a huge loss for fans of good comedy.  Her Angie Tempura character was one of the best original creations to come out of last year’s season.  I’d even go as far to say that it was one of the most topical and nuanced–yes nuanced–characters to ever recur on Weekend Update.  Did you ever notice how she’d start to say one word and then awkwardly change it up?  For example:  “Nice shir–tie, Seth”.  Hilarious.  I loved her interaction with Seth Meyers.  Some loyal fan even started a bitchpleeze website!:  angietempura.com Check it out as it features a recent interview with Michaela about her dismissal.  For that whole EW article, click here.  It’s a crime worth reading about:  Entertainment Weekly

Angie Tempura, we hardly knew ye...

Man, I am supremely bummed..her catch phrase was so accessible.  “Bitch pleeeze” is a suitable for response for just about anything I can think of!  For example:

Some interloper–  “Hey Kate, how’s that soup?”

Me– “Bitch pleeze”.

See?  It’s easy.

More importantly, come on SNL.  You can have more than four women in the cast at one time.  I’ll never figure this firing out.  I’m left to wonder if this is actually Lorne suffering signs of dementia.  Because unless there’s a reason that we don’t know about, this shit is crazy.

A funny actress is for life, not just for Christmas!

Anyway, let’s end this on a happy note.  Here’s an Angie Tempura clip:

Now please, somebody in film and/or television give this woman a job.