March 11, 2010

Combos: American Fondue

When I travel back to The States, I like to stock up on a few things:  Entertainment Weekly magazine, novelties for folks at work (things they can’t get…like handcream that sanitizes AND moisturizes–thank you Bath and Body works), and junk food that I miss.  Today’s entry fills two of those categories.  It’s the glorious, non-British, snack food known to us Yankees as:

123.  Combos

Combos have been around since the mid-seventies…just in time for my birth!  They come in several varieties…all involving cheese in it’s most delicious state (a gel/paste).  You also get to choose from three cheese-containing shells:  pretzel, cracker, and new tortilla variety.

It wasn’t until the airport that I decided that I NEEDED to bring some back with me on this latest trip.  I picked the biggest bag of pizzeria/pretzel variety that I could find.  I wish I had also bought a cracker variety.  But no time for shoulda/coulda/wouldas…they’ll have to wait until the next trip.  Unless someone wants to send me some (Mom).

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2008/03/combos.jpg

A breathtaking variety

Combos are an exemplary snack for a number of reasons.

First of all, they’re actually not as fattening as you think they’d be.  I know that being overly concerned about what your cheese-filled snack is doing to you, calorically speaking, is a bit besides the point, but every little bit helps, doesn’t it?

Secondly, Combos are uniquely American.  The Swiss might heat up their fancy cheese to  bubbling ecstasy.  Yes, they might have boulangerie-fresh crusty bread to dip into said bubbling cheese potion.  But, only Americans would stuff spreadable orange cheese into a tube-shaped snack on a conveyor belt.  We do this because we have no shame.  And thank God for that–because without this hubris-free audacity, the world would be deprived of this beautiful munchee.

Thirdly, Combos are a cheese-filled snack that appeal to even cheese-haters.  My sister is a such an ardent cheese-phobe that she pulls the mozzarella off of her pizza (tragic, I know).  But even she can eat the pizza flavored pretzel variety…though she does turn up her nose at the crackery nacho variety.  It’s too much.  Still, cheese-eaters united with non-cheese eaters makes for a happy household.

Finally, Combos are probably the snack that looks MOST like a dog treat.  Yes, the comparison has been made before, in pithier blogs–but, it’s an apt one.  Look here:  Snausages!

I know that something being compared to dog food should make me like it LESS but for whatever reason, it doesn’t.  I want the whole bag.  Also, I sort of want to eat a Snausage to see what it tastes like.

I’m not the only one in love with Combos.  Check out this article from the Associated Press that describes them rather adoringly.  Newsworthy!

Something I found rather curious about these cheese-filled little Lincoln Logs is the current marketing campaign…or maybe it’s always been this way.  Have Combos ALWAYS been so heavily marketed towards men?  I feel like everything I talk about lately on this blog winds up being scrutinized a bit from a feminist angle.  I don’t mean to be hung-up.  I’m just observant.  You know how us girls obsess needlessly over minutiae.

Let’s look at a recent commercial for Combos, shall we?  This part of a larger campaign called “Man Mom”.  The “Man Mom” ads are silly and fun but are definitely geared towards men…there’s no dispute about that:

In addition to that ad, if you swing over to their official website, you’ll also notice that it’s pretty masculine territory on-line too.  combos.com

It labels Combo eaters as ‘combivores’, celebrates their racecar sponsorship, and postulates that ‘combivores’ would love an invention that would turn their toilet-paper into a sort of tickertape that updated the pooping ‘combivore’ with sports stats and scores as they did their toilet business.

So, OK, you want to target men as your demographic…specifically constipated Nascar fans.  But, I just don’t understand why?  Who is it that decides which food should be marketed to which gender?  Why do women get ick like yogurt and Sun Chips and men get beer and beef jerky?  Girls can be disgusting pigs too!  We’re not all of us always on diets.  Come on, Madison Avenue.  Stop gender-typing the crap that I eat.  As if I need my junk food to label me as even MORE of a tomboy than I already am.

Meanwhile, has anyone tried the new tortilla-shelled variety of Combos yet?  I’m eager to sample them.

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March 6, 2010

Pre-Clarice Starling Role Models

I know that today’s great thing is not a particularly great film.  Rottentomatoes.com gives it a measly 20% rating. Say what?! But, I’d like to honor it anyway for honorable service to my youth and childhood.  This film was the preferred viewing choice on many a snow day and school holiday.  My sister and I would laze about–Steph on the couch and me sprawled out on the floor with a big pillow–with bowls of snacks and plastic cups of ice tea and watch this movie.  We had about half of it memorized.

122.  Feds

In almost every way, this flick epitomizes what was so good about eighties films and what was so very wrong.  First of all, it’s PG-rated, so there’s an inspirational message behind it (teaming up is great, people need brains AND brawn, don’t give up on your dreams even if they seem impossible, hard work pays off, etc…).  Secondly it’s a perfect example of the highly popular eighties genre–the “buddy cop” picture.  Thirdly, the score is riddled with dancey electronic synthesizers.  Perfection.

If you’ve never seen this picture, you better drag out your VCR because (through some massive oversight, obviously), it’s not yet available on DVD.  You hear that Warner Bros.?  Get on it.  My pre-teen self is screaming out for a copy.  Anyway, in a nutshell, as if you couldn’t figure this out by scrolling down and examining the movie poster, it’s about two FBI cadets who, at first, don’t really get along because they’re, you know, so different from each other.  But, they wind up becoming friends and helping each other to develop the skills that they lack.  Obviously, Mary Gross (sister of Family Ties’ Michael Gross and SNL aluma) is the brainy one and Rebecca De Mornay (Risky Business, Hand That Rocks The Cradle) is the one that can do push-ups.

When browsing around the Internet for clips/pics to use of Feds, I was disappointed to find that the publicity and promotion for the flick was highly sexist.

http://girlspy.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/feds.jpg?w=286&h=425

Haha...hey, wait a second, screw you, marketing dude!

This poster seems to imply that Americans SHOULDN’T feel safer knowing that there are women like this in the FBI program.  Uh oh!  Don’t give women any guns or power!  Don’t put them in any position of authority!  It’s like that old misogynistic chestnut:  ‘women can’t be president because when they menstruate they’re gonna have their finger on the button’.   Everyone knows that all succesful and responsible female politicians lock themselves into a re-inforced iron-barred werewolf cage when it’s their time of month–just to prevent that sort of international disaster!  So, I wish that kind of paranoid bullcrap would stop.

Even the trailer seems to capitalize on this outdated (even for the eighties) notion:

In reality, the film doesn’t play out like that.  It trades less on pointing and laughing at these characters because they’re women and more on the notion of nerds and toughs coming together.  If the fact that they’re women is an issue at all, it’s really just to celebrate a trend towards diversity in America’s federal institutions.  OK…maybe that’s giving it a bit too much credit, but truly, the movie isn’t as chauvinist as the ads would have you believe.  Thank God.  Directed by Daniel Goldberg (who also co-wrote it with Len Blum), the joke is more on the institutional good-old boys than it was on the ladies who were coming up.

My sister and I probably watched the movie at least twenty times between when it came out (1988) and when she left for college (1992).  I especially liked the scene where (and I don’t want to give anything away here), Rebecca De Mornay totally smokes a male cadet in a pizza-eating contest.  That pizza always looked sooo good.

http://www.treehugger.com/pizza-hut-natural-pizza.jpg

In a pizza-eating contest, all who try will win.

I was also, always mildly disappointed that Rebecca De Mornay’s character, Ellie DeWitt got with a guy.  She was so cute with her blond pony-tail and brown leather bomber jacket.  Plus, she was ex-military.  Come on!

The movie also has a few choice quotables in it.  When the two trainees, DeWitt and Gross’ Janis Zuckerman, enter a dive bar to investigate a crime a girl-punk that they interact with tells them to ’suck shit through a tube’.  Why didn’t I ever think to say that before.  Sucking shit through anything would be difficult and also disgusting.  Truly, a comeback to remember.  Well played nasty punk girl.  IMDB discussion board’s Jim819 agrees that this is hands-down the best line in the film.  I concur.

You know that they’re re-making just about everything nowadays.  What would a remake of this look like?  I’m thinking America Ferrara and Clea Duvall for the leads.

http://l.yimg.com/l/tv/us/img/site/82/57/0000058257_20090617162321.jpg

Pretty, with a strong jaw!

http://www.uglybettytvshow.com/wp-content/uploads/Image/uglybetty/2007/summer/america_ferrara-2.jpg

She'd HAVE to be in Ugly Betty mode as she's actually she's pretty hot.

What do you think, first of all, have you ever seen Feds?  In the theatre, on VHS, or on Lifetime?  Also, who would you cast in an update?

Let’s close with a real recruitment video aimed at getting more women to enroll in the FBI.  Now, don’t get me wrong–all these ladies look like total ass-kickers and what they do is pretty awesome.  But, I still think Feds is a better recruitment vid…

Oh!  One more thing, the whole film is available on YouTube, so if you HAVEN’T seen it, you know it comes with my recommendations.  Open a box of Bugles or Triscuits and pour yourself a plastic cup of ice-cold Nestea and enjoy the eighties.

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February 27, 2010

I Sat Through This Commercial Because of Vicki

Every once in a while, I like to profile a good advertisement here on the blog. After all, I do appreciate when people go through the bother of trying to create something worth watching when they sell their crap to me.  It’s nice when people put effort into something that would normally be odious.  This is one of those times.

121.  Orange’s Wicked Witch Ad

You know an ad campaign has done its job when there’s a Facebook group dedicated to it.  Actually, there’ s more than one dedicated to this commercial.  Impressive.

Before I show the ad, a bit of back story:  Orange is a cell-phone provider here in The UK.  They hatched a brilliant scheme/incentive to rope in new customers:  Sell an exclusive 2 for 1 deal on cinema tickets every Wednesday.  It’s called Orange Wednesday and if you text the word ‘film’ to Orange from your Orange mobile phone, they text you back a coupon code that your ticket booth will use to grant you a free ticket (with the purchase of one).  I use it all the time.  Paying half price for a movie ticket takes the sting away if the movie winds up being a rotten tomato.

http://sporeflections.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/movie-tickets-popcorn.jpg?w=450&h=337

Yes, these tickets look more like ones for a carnival ride and less like those used in modern multi-plexes, but Google Image is a harsh mistress sometimes, OK?

This particular commercial is a new entry into a canon of rather successful ‘2 for 1′ ads.  The series has had such an impact that The Guardian even wrote about the perceived success of the long-standing campaign.  Guardian article Brennan Brown, an American character actor, stars as Mr. Dresdan–a smooth talking producer of Hollywood’s worst films (it would seem).  The Mr. Dresdan ads always feature a sort of B-list celebrity that Mr. Dresden has suckered into starring in his awful Orange-product themed film.  They’ve had Steven Seagal, Emilio Estevez, Val Kilmer, Macauley Culkin, and…a real coup here…A-listers Sigourney Weaver and Anjelica Houston.

http://static.cinemarx.ro/poze/postere/actori/bre/Brennan-Brown-132005-878.jpg

Brennan Brown...a bit Kevin Spacey, yes?

Let me show you a sample before I unveil today’s great thing.  This one stars Mena Suvari:

The ads are charming in a self-aware sort of way and sometimes the Hollywood satire is dead on.  Brennan Brown, I think you’ll agree, is a crucial component behind the success of this campaign.  He’s just a good actor who knows his way around a bit of comedy.  However, the campaign’s been going now for a good four years–at least–and whilst I’m in no hurry to see them ditch it entirely, today’s great thing is a fun new direction.

OK, enough preamble.  I hate it when people put my expectations too high.  Here’s the clip.

So cute and funny, yes?  I had a hell of a time trying to track down the names of the actresses in this spot.  The advertising trades care less about the talent and more about production houses–Fallon, a London agency, made this, by the way.  But, I believe Vicki is played by Catherine Steadman and the witch is Rachel Edwards, who was selected, partially, because she bears a resemblance to Margaret Hamilton (the original wicked witch).  The two work really well together.  I think my favorite bits are when the electricity shoots out of the witch’s fingertips after she’s smashed in the face with leaves.  I also like when Vicki suggests that the witch should “use a scoop”.

I hope we see a few more with this duo OR at the very least, similarly funny pairings of average citizens/iconic movie characters.  It’s a solid concept with room for growth.  I’d almost go as far as saying I’d watch these two in a sitcom…but we all know what happened with the Geico cavemen.

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February 21, 2010

The Flavor Lasts and Lasts

You ever experience that feeling of dread that comes after hearing one of your favorite songs in a commercial?  I’ve been gutted by that sensation loads of times.  “True Colors”  was recently used for a Sky television campaign.  Granted, it was a cover version, but it still sent chills down my spine to hear that beautiful song played every ten minutes to sell cable in HD.  The fact that News Corp owns Sky just added grave insult to injury.  Beyond the simple fact that a great tune is being debased by a product, the other drawback to this occurence is that it means you’re going to hear that song ad infinitum, in small 30 second chunks, eventually causing you to fall out of love with it.

It’s a true test of greatness to see a song put through that wringer and still come out the other side as vibrant as ever.  (Though, for the record, i-Pod commercials, weirdly have almost the opposite effect.  They take a little-known song and make everyone love it.)  Anyway, today’s great thing has successfully passed that stress test–on multiple occasions.

120 Peter, Bjorn and John’s “Young Folks”

I know that there will be plenty of folks out there that ARE sick of this song.  But this is my stupid blog and I still love this ditty.  Let’s listen to it now!  Right now!

Such a happy, whistle-fueled, jingly-jangly bit of pop.  That song was my ring tone for TWO years!  I actually thought that I had killed it recently.  I hate taking phone calls at the best of times and I chose this song to alert me to the pesky arrival of an incoming call.  I worried that it would surely drive a stake through the song’s peppy little heart. And, I was indeed starting to roll my eyes when it would sound.  But no, this song’s got nine lives.  It came on my iPod when I was working out recently and it actually made me pick up my pace on the treadmill.  It fueled my joy.  This song’s got legs!

There may be one or two of you out there who have never heard this song.  To be fair, I haven’t lived in America for a few years now and I don’t know if  “Young Folks” has been rammed into your earholes as much as it has over here in the UK.  Peter, Bjorn and John are a trio from Sweden.  Is it just me or is Sweden a gold-mine for durable pop?  Three items of proof:  1. Abba  2.  This song  3.  “Love Fool” by The Cardigans.  I’d even argue that Ace of Base have at least ONE song in their back catalogue that people would still enjoy.  (It’d have to be one song as all of their songs sort of sounded like their first single “All That She Wants”.)  “Young Folks” was officially released in 2006.  It was in late 2006, or maybe early 2007, that my friend Paul went to see a Peter, Bjorn, and John show, sort of by chance, and reported back to me that watching that concert made him feel like what the people who first viewed The Beatles must have felt like.

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/statusainthood/peterbjornandjohn_color.jpg

Look, Swedish people!


But, don’t just take it from me and my supercool friend Paul.  Even the experts agree that this single kicks serious ass.  It was rated # 5 in Pitchfork Media’s Top 100 songs of 2006 and #2 in NME’s list of the year (beaten only by Hot Chip’s Over and Over–which, though it is a fine song, I would argue has less staying power).

Though the recording utilized the lady-vocals of Victoria Bergsman(of The Concretes), Peter, Bjorn and John have collared other female vocalists to assist, like Traceyanne Campbell of Camera Obscura whilst on tour.  The song is also beloved by other musicians.  Kanye West has sampled “Young Folks” twice, once in the song “Interviews (Interlude)” and once in his own version of “Young Folks”–though, I guess that would be less of a sample and more of a rapped-through cover  (same tune, different lyrics).  Shogo Tokumaru, of Japan–natch–has also done a sweet little cover.  I found it exceedingly difficult to actually get a proper clip of it.  However, it is played about a minute into this interview.

“Young Folks” also benefits from some simple and sweet lyrics.  Seems to me that it’s about two people who fancy each other and are surprised to find themselves in such a happy position.  The stuff of ages.

What do you make of this track?  I think it’ll be just as golden in a decade.  Any songs from ten years ago that still hold up as powerfully for you?

Bonus…here’s  a link to The Onion’s AV Club “Random Rules” feature with Peter (of Peter, Bjorn and John).  He seems nice.  Random Rules

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February 14, 2010

Crazy for Arkham Asylum

As today is Valentine’s Day, I should really be writing about something within that theme.  I’m a sucker for holiday motifs.  I have mixed feelings about Valentine’s day though and the sentiment it pushes.  I have sort of a love/hate relationship with it.  Well, I don’t ‘hate’ it–but I can understand why people do.  I don’t blame folks for seeing through all the commercialized bullcrap that swirls around the date.  Flowers go up in price, cheap chocolates are passed off as a grand romantic gesture, and restaurants create inane and expensive prix fixe menus.  It can be a bit much, especially if you’re in a relationship where you dote on each other already.  You don’t need a Hallmark card to tell you when to say something sweet!  On the other hand, it can be a good excuse to book a weekend away somewhere nice and drink more expensive wine than what you usually purchase.  But, I’m not NOT writing about something Valentine-centric because of my cognitive dissonance about it all.  No, that’s not why.  It’s because I can’t stop thinking about Batman:  Arkham Asylum, that’s why.  I just can’t stop plugging into the world of the video game–not even to blather on about conversation hearts.  Thank God I’m partnered with sort of a nag.  It’s only because I love my girlfriend that I pull myself away from it at all.  (She expects me to, you know, pay attention/converse with her sometimes.)  If it weren’t for her, I’d be a corpulent and ashen blob with blistered thumbs–never engaging in social interaction or stepping outdoors.  As it is, I’m halfway to that description now.

119:  Batman:  Arkham Asylum


http://xbox360media.ign.com/xbox360/image/article/909/909768/batman-arkham-asylum-20080912001255021.jpg

Gritty!

It’s pretty  much an undisputed fact that this game kicks ass.   It was developed by Eidos and Rocksteady, both of which are based in Britain.  Now, I’m not saying that everything made in Britain comes out classier (Lesbian Vampire Killers, anyone?) but this game certainly reaped the benefits of being designed by folks who walk the streets of London.  They’ve got a real eye for creepy old buildings and that viewpoint is vital to any depiction of the asylum, which is Batman’s dumping ground for his craziest villains .  The Onion rated it as the year’s best game.  I love it when things I like get hipster credentials. Guinness Book of World Records also lists it as the most well-reviewed superhero video game of all time.  

One of the reasons why this latest foray into video games is beloved by so many Bat-fans is that most of the previous Batman video games have essentially been gaming remakes of the film projects.  This is important to Arkham Asylum’s success beyond those games, in my opinion, because you’re not spending the game comparing the likeness of Batman to Christian Bale, or predicting what’s around the corner on the next board because you’ve already seen what happens in the film.  Original material rules.

http://ps3media.ign.com/ps3/image/article/949/949513/batman-arkham-asylum-20090129054149283_640w.jpg

Remember when Batman shilled for Onstar?

Another reason people are going ape for this game is because of the voice talent.  Arleen Sorkin as the voice of Harley Quinn is especially excellent.  Sorkin has voiced most of the animated appearances of this character.  Other veteran Bat-animation voice actors also reprise their characters, including Mark Hamill as The Joker and Kevin Conroy as Batman.  Here’s a little sample of Harley from the game:

Paul Dini created Harley Quinn whilst he was writing scripts for Batman:  The Animated Series and she first debuted in that cartoon.  Her first foray into the comic-book world was in the one-shot  “Mad Love” (which was a Batman-centered story, of course).  Batman: TAS was great because it was safe for kids to view but had wonderfully entertaining little crime-yarns and real Batman-universe credentials (in other words, it stayed close enough to comic book continuity to keep nerds like me happy and asking for more.)  Batman:  Arkham Asylum is kind of like that cartoon but rated PG-13 instead of PG.

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050609/16453__animated_l.jpg

Batman, scourge of clowns everywhere.

Speaking of Dini, he may be the biggest reason as to why this game is such a success.  Getting a real comic book writer to pen the story of the game was a brilliant move.  It’s about time that the story took the wheel in the world of video games.  We’re familiar enough, as gamers, with the language of gaming that we need to take the medium to the next level of sophistication.  God knows I loved playing Sonic the Hedgehog but I never really understood, from a narrative viewpoint, why he needed all of those gold rings.  The fully developed worlds and intricate storylines make games like this current Bat-title, and Bioshock, and others like it excel.

The combination of combat and detective work that you must complete is also a draw.  The martial arts style is flashy but also semi-realistic and really just looks super cool.  My favorite move has to be the ‘ground takedown’ where Batman jumps on a baddies chest and, depending on which way he’s facing, either punches the villain’s face–or his groin.  Snigger snigger.  The amount of sneaking around and strategizing that you have to do also make this feel more like a Batman video game and less like your standard punch-em-up.  Lots of marquee villains show up, including Zszasz and Bane but other favorites are simply alluded to as Dini is clever enough to know that story comes first.  Mr. Freeze, for example, wouldn’t have made sense in this story–even if it would’ve been cool to fight him.  They resist the temptation.  Superhero film-makers…take note.  Yes, sometimes too many villains spoil the broth.

Having said that, the handful of fan-favorites that they did select are some of the heaviest hitters…real nightmares.  Killer Croc actually made me jump at one point and I was dreading the level where he was the ‘boss’.  Even the random lunatics that run around the island wigged me out proper.  This trailer is particularly villain-heavy.

There’s a good interview with Dini about his first foray into video game writing posted here:  TheReticule

The official website features more clips from the game but also interviews from some of the designers and creators if you’re interested in knowing a bit more about the effort that went into Batman:  Arkham Asylum:  Official Site

At this point, I’ve already won the ’story’ part of the game.  But, I just can’t bear putting the paddle down.  I’m retracing my steps to pick up all the bonuses (little puzzles left around by The Riddler) and having a blast trying to beat my scores on the ‘challenge’ portions of the game (extra fighting and stealth boards).  When you successfully complete a challenge, the Mark Hamill-voiced Joker usually says something sarcastic.  My favorite is “Nice moves, Bats!  Thanks for showing me them!”.  Hamill nails it–it sounds perfectly deranged.

Now, I wish they’d hurry up and make another one but I know that quality takes time.  So, I’ll have to wait.

Characters I’d like to see in sequels:

Robin (or Nightwing), Batwoman (the current incarnation), Black Mask, and Catwoman.  For an extra baddie or two they could throw in Penguin and Scarface.  There–you’re halfway there already Eidos.  Now just put that all together…

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